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“Actually, I’m really into Kate Bush, Siouxsie and the Banshees, that sort of stuff…,” you’d say as you see Ivana in the queue for Top of the Pops.
Neither of you yet realises that despite the current No. 1 being “Young at Heart” by The Bluebells, this week’s chart also carries the sacred texts of the early 90’s dance-hall renaissance in “Mr Loverman” (Shabba Ranks No. 4), “Informer” (Snow No. 3), and “Oh Carolina” (Shaggy No.2). All over Britain school disco’s are now full of kids “Rowing the Boat” and “Bogle”–ing.
“Mr Loverman” would work. It’s a bit of a slow one. If they play that you can sidle up a bit.
Worst-case scenario? “Are You Gonna Go My Way” (Lenny Kravitz No. 20) comes on and you get to do a bit of interpretive flirtation while mouthing the chorus. It’s already clearly one of the worst songs ever recorded. A riff that died before it became a song, puppeteered by Kravitz for an audience of fans who don’t realise they’re rocking out with a corpse. She might like it though.
Other people are noticing her now. It’s the hair. You hope someone else hits her with something about “…the carpet matching the curtains”, and you can performatively roll your eyes and bond over it.
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